PD’s Dating Dictionary
Know your ghosting from your zombie? Breadcrumbing from slow fading? Girl, it’s time to brush up on your dating terminology with our handy dating dictionary. We all know dating is complicated but we leavin’ those f*ckboys in 2019.
First, the basics… Let’s face it, most of us (if not all) have either heard of or been on the receiving end of one of these dating disasters but if you’re confused about what tf is going on, let us help.
Left on read
Fairly self explanatory this one, those dreaded double blue ticks at 14:30 and last seen online at 19:45. You’ve been left on read. You can give the benefit of the doubt here for so long but “I’ve been busy” 3 days later is the lamest excuse in the book. We’re all busy but someone who’s interested in speaking to you WILL make the time. Trust us.
It’s all going well, you’re messaging every day, he’s sending you memes and cute dog videos when all of a sudden he drops off the face of the earth with no explanation. Did I do something wrong? Is his phone broken? Chances are, you’ve just been ghosted. You’ve got two options, block and move on or confront him directly. But let’s get real sis, do you really want someone in your life who’s willing to treat you like that? We’re all about self love and knowing our worth in 2020.
Similar to ghosting but with added insult to injury. Instead of just going AWOL, this guy will like your last message and leave it at that. Is the ball back in your court? Is it your turn again? For the best approach to a soft ghoster, please see previous definition.
When above ghoster hangs around by following you on socials or watching your stories. Best to just not check, chances are it doesn’t mean anything, they’re just waiting to see you happy again so they can move onto this next one…
You’ve just got over being ghosted, living your best life looking fire on the gram when all of a sudden you get that reply to your insta story “heyyy”. Like a zombie, he’s risen from the dead and is trying to get back into your life. We’re only moving forward this year girl, you officially have our permission to flip the tables and become the ghoster not the ghostee.
Arguably the friendlier way of ghosting someone, a Casper the friendly ghost if you will. Instead of cutting you off completely, this guy will just slowly reduce the level of contact and frequency of messages. You know the ones, they used to send paragraphs and ask about your day, now they just send “haha” or “yeh lol”? Yep, that’s a Casper. He’s not cutting you off entirely but rather giving you a reason to cut HIM off. If he’s taking 24hrs to reply to every single message and it’s dry af, time to cut and run sis.
Like Hansel and Gretel just without the cannibalistic witch. This guy will leave behind a series of non-committal messages that are just enough to keep you clinging on in the hope that he’s interested but not quite enough to actually make plans or start to resemble any sort of relationship. The best thing you can do here is abort mission altogether or play aloof. Don’t boost his ego with your attention.
A new one to add to your dating dictionary. Benching involves keeping potential players on “the bench” with the occasional social media interaction or text while you give your favourite love interest that little bit more attention. When that goes South, you’ve got backup.
You text everyday, go on dates, you’ve both agreed to not see anyone else and you’re emotionally connected but he won’t commit officially. Is this a relationship? No honey, you’ve found yourself in a situationship. A situationship can be fun for a while but things can quickly take a turn when one party suddenly wants more than the other. It’s best to be honest with yourself here about how happy you really are and whether you see it ever going any further. Sometimes cutting ties is best for both parties and though it’s as hard as any other “real” breakup at the time, we promise you’ll be happier in the long run.
Armed with your new dating dictionary you’re ready to head out into the big ol’ world of dating. Remember it’s not all bad, one day you will find the King that treats you like the Queen you are. You just need to make your way through a few frogs first. Happy dating gals!
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